oh but they’re so sweet in every sense of the word. *chuckles*
huh well i come from a long line of vampires myself. i’ve always been a bloodsucker so this is my first time being like this in my whole life. it’s awfully strange.
I DON’T KNOW IF I’D GO THAT FAR, BUT THEY HAVE THEIR PLUSES. I NEVER SAID THEY DIDN’T. YOU EVER HAD TRICKSTER’S BLOOD? I HAVEN’T FOUND ANYTHING SWEETER THAN THAT.
HUH. THAT’S PRETTY COOL, ACTUALLY. I COME FROM A SHORT LINE OF BAD DECISIONS AND MAGIC.
it’s not the female so much as the human part i dislike. i’m all warm and soft and there’s this thumping in my chest that won’t stop. i hate feeling so… alive. *makes a face of displeasure*
the feeling is mutual! i don’t know many outside of my father really. were you turned or were you born a vampire?
OKAY, THAT I’LL GIVE YOU. HUMANS ARE SOFT WEAKISH CREATURES. EVEN THE BEST OF THEM AREN’T THAT STRONG.
I’M NOT SURE THERE ARE ANY NATURAL BORN RAINBOW DRINKERS, WHICH SHOULD ANSWER YOUR QUESTION. I WAS TURNED, AROUND HALF A SWEEP AGO NOW. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT AND MY OWN FAULT, BUT YOU DON’T HEAR ME COMPLAINING ANY. IT’S BEEN GREAT.
fate is cruel
AY. A CRUEL MISTRESS SHE BE.
ALAS, BUT FOR A TINY FUZZY HEAD, WHAT BEAUTIFUL THINGS MIGHT HAVE BEEN WROUGHT.
literal. i’m a vampire.
well not in this body. i’ve been cursed.
*gestured to the human female body he is currently occupying.*
I DON’T SEE HOW BEING A FEMALE IS BEING CURSED. FEMALE TROLLS ARE MORE VICIOUS THAN MALES. AND IT’S ALL JUST A MATTER OF AESTHETICS ANYWAY.
I DON’T THINK I’VE MET ANOTHER VAMPIRE ASIDE FROM MY DAVE IN QUITE A WHILE. IT’S NICE TO MEET A FELLOW BLOODSUCKER ONCE IN A WHILE.
bloodthirstyegbert started following you
IS THIS A LITERAL OR METAPHORICAL BLOOD THIRST?
CONGRATS. YOU NOW HAVE A DATE WITH A GREY KITTEN NAMED CINDER.
eeeeew caaaaats >:P
HEY, YOU COULD HAVE HAD ME, BUT SHE HAD HER HEAD IN THE WAY, SO SHE READ IT FIRST. I WOULDN’T WANT TO GET IN HER WAY.
Karkat i’ve never /actually/ been to the macy’s day parade
I just watch it on tv
You know, that neat little invention which transmits images all over the world??
Well, i’m sure if anyone can make it happen it’s you
GEE, AND WHERE DO YOU THINK I SAW IT?
GOLLY GEE JOHNATHAN, WE JUST GOT A BRAND NEW COLOR ONE, AND IT EVEN GETS FIVE CHANNELS NOW.
ACTUALLY, I’M PRETTY SURE I’M THE MASTER OF FUCKING THIS SHIT UP, BUT THANKS ANYWAY.
You’ve never had a good macy’s day parade before thanksgiving if you can say that
Wouldn’t want to live in new york for it, but it’s great all the same
Well, hope that works out, somehow
A BUNCH OF OVERSIZED BALLOONS AND MOVING MUSICAL GROUPS THAT PLAY TOO CLOSE TO ME. AND THAT’S NOT EVEN MENTIONING THE FACT THAT THERE ARE CROWDS OF PEOPLE EVERYWHERE I’D LIKE TO PUNCH IN THE FACE. I THINK I’LL PASS.
THANKS. WE HOPE SO TOO.
hazythreshecutioner said: HAHAHA. I’LL BE SURE TO GET IT IN WRITING AND RECORDED, WITH WITNESSES. WHEN ONE PARTY IS A CAPTIVE IN HIS OWN HIVE THERE IS.
Yeah yeah and there’ll be a grand parade too.
Ah, yeah, that certainly makes sense.
THE ONLY TIME I WILL EVER LOOK FORWARD TO A PARADE.
I’M LETTING IT PASS BECAUSE IT’S NOT HIS FAULT AS NEAR AS I CAN TELL, AND HE ASKED ME, WHICH IS A NEW THING.
PLUS THERE’S THE FACT THAT HE’S A TROLL TOO, SO THERE WILL BE NONE OF THIS NONSENSE OF HUMANS HAVING PROBLEMS WITH IT LIKE WITH DAVE’S LAPDOG.
MY ASSHOLE SENSES ARE TINGLING.
AND NOW I SEE WHY.
“Thank you, I’m glad you think that way. Otherwise I might have to worry about having forced you to go there quite a lot.”
You stick out your tongue at him when he makes that extremely disgusted expression. You do realize that he has a point and that he shouldn’t name his pet after something that makes him uncomfortable or even terribly sick. But there’s no reason for him to speak about candy this way in your presence. Of course you are not really offended.”Fine, fine. Do whatever you want. You’re going to do that, anyway.”
You smile and nod and return your gaze to the adorable oinkbeast in front of you. You wrap your hands carefully around her little torso and pick her up. She squeals and squirms a little so you hurry over to the couch and put her on your lap. She stops and sits down. You pet her lovingly. “She’s just so very cute!”
“You haven’t forced me to do anything. If I really didn’t want to come, I wouldn’t have. It’s pretty much impossible to force me to do something I don’t want to do.”
You laugh when she sticks her tongue out at you. Accurate though it may be, you did deserve that, and it greatly amuses you. You don’t really feel bad though. “Damn right I will,” you assert, keeping the light tone of your laughter in your voice.
You follow along after them, taking a seat beside the girls. Watching them get along like that keeps the smile on your face. Anytime your people get along, or in this case people and beasts, you’re pleased. “She really is, and I’m sure she’ll still be cute when she’s much too big to fit on anyone’s lap.”
Two scientists walk into a bar
The first scientist says ‘I’ll have a glass of H2O”
The second scientist says ‘I’ll have a glass of water too. Wh… why did you say H2O? Like, I know it’s the chemical formula for water and all, but it’s the end of the day and there’s really no need to intentionally over-complicate things like that in a situation outside of work”
The first scientist stares at his drink, angry that his assassination plan has failed.
- SW33T13 CR4B (Y3S 1M GO1NG TO PULL TH4T OFF, W4TCH H1M PUNCH M3)
- K4RK1TTL3 (4LT3RN4T1V3LY K4RSK1TTL3)
- MR R4G3B3RRY
TH3R3S MOR3 TO COM3
“Really?” You look at him in honest surprise. “It isn’t boring for you? Just lying there, waiting for the other person to wake up? … Well I suppose if it’s your matesprit you’re talking about it’s different and stuff but I can imagine you taking off ten minutes after I fell asleep if we did that!” You peck his cheek.
“Why? The best names are food names! This reminds me that I haven’t named my lusus … she’s been out of her shell for a few months now. I just couldn’t find a name that would be good enough for my sweet dragon. Oh whatever, she takes off on her own a lot I wouldn’t even get to say her name to her.” You look around. “Apparently your oinkbeast’s the same, where is it?”
“It’s not like I have anything better to do at the time, obviously, or I’d be doing it. And I clearly enjoy the other person’s company, so I’ll hang out, even if they’re tired. And yes, that includes you too. The only one I might take off for is Jontan, and even that’s a little up in the air.” You poke her cheek playfully, since you’re teasingly scolding her for doubting you like that.
“Because she’s not food, and we’re not going to imply that she is in any way. Vriska pulled the same thing on me that Dave did. Why not call her bacon? How about my other foot go up your ass now, since the first one is clearly occupied with Dave’s already. Congratulations on your lusus hatching though, and I’m sure you’ll come up with a wonderful name in time.”
You nod your head in the direction of the other exit to the room. “I didn’t want her in here when I answered the door in case she got excited and bolted.” Making a whistling sound, you call the young beast into the room with the two of you. Being one of the first things you taught her, she promptly trots in to say hello, snuffling eagerly at the newcomer.